If you’ll be late or can’t make it

Things happen to everyone: the transport stopped, you fell ill suddenly, something came up at home. Anyone who works in a restaurant or a shop knows this, and most venue owners have been late themselves at some point.

What damages the relationship is rarely the lateness itself. It’s the venue being left waiting without knowing anything. This guide is about how to say what happened in a way that keeps your standing with them.

1 Say it early

As soon as you know, say so. Not when you reach the station, and not five minutes before the shift. Every minute you wait comes out of the time they could have used to sort something out.

Don’t hold on in the hope of “maybe I’ll make it”. If there’s a real chance you’ll be late, say it’s a chance, and say exactly when you’ll know.

2 If you’ll be late: say when you’ll arrive

“I’ll be a bit late” isn’t information. “I’ll be there at 4:30” is information they can plan around.

• Give a real time, and add a little to it. Arriving before the time you gave is far better than being late for that one too.
• If the time changes, say so again straight away. Don’t leave them waiting on the old time.
• Ask whether it still works for you to come. If you’re very late, they may prefer to manage without you. “Is it still OK for me to come, or would you rather arrange things without me?” is a respectful question, and it makes their decision easier.

3 If you can’t come: say it plainly

If you know you’re not coming, don’t say “I’ll try”. “I’ll try” keeps them waiting for you and wastes time they could have spent looking for someone. “I can’t come today” is a hard sentence to say, but it’s much kinder to them.

Apologise simply. You don’t need to tell a long story or swear to it; one honest line is enough.

4 What goes in a useful message?

One clear message is better than five broken-up ones. Put this in it:

1. Who you are, and which shift. Your name, the day, and the time. They may have several people coming today.
2. Late or not coming. In a clear word, at the start of the message.
3. If you’re late: when you’ll arrive. A time, not “a bit”.
4. The reason, in one line. “The metro has stopped”, “I’ve been ill since last night”. Without a lot of detail.
5. If you know someone who could cover for you, say you have a suggestion, and leave the decision to them. Never send someone in your place without their agreement.

If time is short and your message hasn’t been seen, send it again.

5 Silence is the worst thing

When you say nothing, the venue keeps waiting for you. They can’t look for someone, or share the work among the people who are there, and the rush starts while they’re still calling you.

What stays in their memory afterwards isn’t that you were late; it’s that you disappeared. Lateness is forgotten; disappearing isn’t.

6 Afterwards: keep the relationship

The next day, send a short message: thanks for understanding, and an apology without overdoing it. If you’d like to work with them again, say so.

Learn from it, too: if transport was the reason, leave earlier next time. People remember how you handled it when something came up, more than the thing itself.